I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I lost the right to judge tonight
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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