If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
