Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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