Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think people are normalizing furries
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
