no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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