She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If that was your dad, he is hot
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
