i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
