I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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