So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
