would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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