you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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