he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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