I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
