I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
