K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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