Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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