wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think my moral compass just broke
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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