I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
