i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and she was petting her beer can
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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