my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
