am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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