I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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