I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I party with great urgency now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
