Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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