next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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