I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
