You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
