So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize