what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Panties = found
Randomize
