I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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