He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
