Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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