i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
