You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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