Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
