You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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