My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
