u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
how drunk are you?
Several
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
