three words: i give head
three words: not that well
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
