Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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