we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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