haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"it" just moved
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
