Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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