first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Shame - the story of my life.
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