wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize