I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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