did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
