I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
