I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ladies don't puke and tell
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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