bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
