I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize