So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
