so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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