i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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