My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
