i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I love you. Go after that dick
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize