I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
