He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
