Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize