literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
