Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
