He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
