"it" just moved
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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