is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
