Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize