goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
