just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The police scanner is talking about you again....
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
