i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The adults are the big ones right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
