Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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