I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
