Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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