You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
