Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
