I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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