why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
