I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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