i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize