I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
