we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
