Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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