Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
