so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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