The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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