yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
